An Ideal Vice President

I have a very good friend who is a local elected official. Her head and heart are in the right place. She is intelligent, talented and compassionate. In short, she embodies the qualities that anyone would want in a public servant.

I have often joked with her that if she ever became President of the United States, I would be honored to serve as her Vice President. In response she usually just rolls her eyes at me and tells me that I am “being crazy.”

In my continued advocacy for myself, I have made the point that I would be an ideal choice because I would not have any designs on the presidency. My primary objectives as Vice President would be to be at her service, host the best parties in DC, play the best golf courses in America and otherwise do as little as possible. Again, my friend would just look at me like I had taken leave of my senses.

Candidly, being Vice President of the United States of America is a lousy job, for anyone who has their own political ambitions. Our Constitution vests very limited authority in that office. Ostensibly the Vice President presides over the U.S. Senate. But each party in that chamber elects their own leaders who manage the daily activities of their respective caucuses. Breaking tie votes is the Vice President’s principal responsibility.

In much more colorful terms, John Nance Garner, who was Franklin D. Roosevelt’s Vice President, was quoted as saying, “The Vice Presidency isn’t worth a pitcher of warm spit.” He went on to say that “I spent eight long years as Mr. Roosevelt’s spare tire.”

John Nance Garner, Vice President during President Franklin D. Roosevelt's terms, felt like a "spare tire." Image: Brittanica.com, Harris and Ewing Photograph Collection/Library of Congress, Washington, D.C.

Speaking of FDR, apparently Harry Truman who was his last Vice President didn’t know anything about the Manhattan Project until after President Roosevelt had died and he became President himself.

As Vice President to John F. Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson had a very limited role in the formation of administration policy. Primarily because the President’s brother and Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy neither liked or trusted LBJ.

As Vice President to Jimmy Carter, Walter Mondale was the first to have an office in the West Wing of the White House placing him in close proximity to the President’s office. The VP’s ceremonial office is in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, which is across the street from the White House. And, if memory serves, it is a sweet setup. But I suppose proximity to power is a form of power. Walter Mondale was also the first Vice President to reside in an official Vice President’s residence starting in 1977.

Walter Mondale had a better setup as Vice President when serving under President Jimmy Carter, in regards to both respect and proximity. Image: The Week, AP Photo/Jim Wells

The last person to be elected President of the United States directly from the Vice Presidency was George H.W. Bush in 1988. Understood in some circles as Ronald Reagan’s third term.

According to her recent memoir, former Vice President Kamala Harrris indicated that she was largely shunned or misused by the Biden administration. She asserts that this handicapped her presidential candidacy.

History has repeatedly demonstrated that the Vice Presidency is indeed a tough gig. Without an established portfolio of its own, the office is basically designed to do whatever the president says to do, or whatever the president doesn’t want to do. Otherwise, to just be on standby. Yet, every four years several political hopefuls preen themselves in a public audition of sorts to be selected for that role.

In modern times the person who broke the code on how to make that office exercise its full potential was Dick Cheney, Vice President to George W. Bush. Having previously served as White House Chief of Staff to President Ford, a U.S. Congressman and Secretary of Defense to President George H. W. Bush, Dick Cheney had a highly evolved understanding of how both the Executive and Legislative branches of the federal government functioned. With a President who was a neophyte to the ways of Washington, Vice President Cheney was able to leverage his experience and understanding to full effect.

One can argue about the veracity of how he operated. But as an exercise in the use of political power, it was very impressive. Still, I don’t believe that the Cheney model is the ideal template for Vice President.

Vice President Dick Cheney was the first to leverage the office to its full potential. Image: The Guardian, Photograph: Roger L Wollenberg/Getty Images

Which brings us back to me. As Vice President I would be at the President’s disposal. But absent specific guidance from her I could easily imagine a scenario that plays out something like this.

I would be playing a round of golf at Pebble Beach or Pinehurst or Shinnecock Hills or some other suitable spot. My secret service detail will have strict instructions, “No calls unless it’s you know who.”

Sure, enough I’d be in the middle of my back swing when my lead agent approaches me with a cell phone in hand.

AGENT: Sir.

ME: Okay. I got it. Yes. This is the Vice President.

THE PRESIDENT’S PERSONAL SECRETARY: Sir, please hold for the President.

ME: Okay, Thanks!

THE PRESIDENT: Steve?

ME: Good morning, Madam President. How are you?

THE PRESIDENT: Steve, where are you?

ME: Ma’am, do I really need to answer that question?

THE PRESIDENT: Never mind. I can probably guess. Anyway, my bill is coming up for a vote in the Senate tonight and it’s going to be close. I need you back in DC to break a tie if needed. So, make it happen.

ME: Yes ma’am. By the way, Madam President, have I told you lately what an honor it is to be working for you?

THE PRESIDENT: That’s cute. Just shut up Steve. And don’t be late for the vote.

CLICK.

ME: Boys, I guess the round is over. And I was playing pretty well for a change. Oh well...duty calls. Do I have a suit on the plane?

AGENT: Yes sir!

ME: Okay. Let’s roll.

Of course, the larger point of my Vice-Presidential fantasy is that it presupposes that the President of the United States will be a woman.  And I believe this will be reality sooner rather than later.